The Story Of My Elbow

People have always told me to bend and snap, but when I was performing my goalie dive, my fans (mom and dad) were not impressed. My elbow had, so to say, popped off. Tragically, it occurred just before the soccer team’s annual preseason endurance run. I had a short tenure in the health center where the nurse attempted to “fix” my temporary sling while I was wearing it by tightening it exponentially, resulting in a new tear in my ligament. He then proceeded to try and call an ambulance, to which my Venmo account and I passionately declined. A chaperone was called to take me to the Emergency Center. The chaperone came, greeted me, complimented my chicken shirt, and then helped me into the car. I auxed the entire ride. While I had to miss all of the fun preseason workouts, I did have the opportunity to receive a nifty bracelet and eat the iconic health center toast. During the one and a half months wearing a sling, I learned how to receive sympathy like Sarah McLachlan, and live life half-reached. With only one arm, I was no longer able to: fly my kite, clap, color in the  stress charts ambidextrously, do jazz hands, tie my shoes, or play patty cake. However, I was able to: come to class late (can't open the door), avoid helping people, have a conversation starter, and skip assembly for OT appointments. Now that I am healthy and fixed, I realize just how lucky I was to be broken. Because of the injury, I now have fourteen dickeys from the club soccer program, all excused by the “trainers.” Having a sports opt with a sports credit is fantastic. I also make a fun new sound everytime I move my elbow joint. Moral of the story: break your elbow.