Caroline Calloway Starter Pack

Yes, it’s true that people think the Caroline Calloway thing is over (okay, to be fair a solid 2% of campus cared, but I was one of them). But I’m sure ONE QUESTION is still on the minds of all Exonians: who in each of our respective classes will be the next Caroline Calloway? (And further, Andrew Yang? Roxane Gay? Mark Zuckerberg?) Well, in case there is someone out there who would like to take on her legacy, here are the things you need to become the next Caroline Calloway.

1. Flowers. Put them excessively in your hair and act like you are original in doing so. Then admit that you aren’t original but say that it’s just for your original self-expression vibe (or string other words together that don’t really make sense but confuse the reader into thinking that you made sense).

2. Paintbrushes to paint sub-par pieces of art and make 9,000 dollars from it.

3. Instagram notifications to feel your “influencer” status.

4. An expensive therapist that you ironically write about on your Instagram.

5. Status symbols. Like, as many as you can possibly muster up (similar to the likes of Exeter, Cambridge).

6. An unhealthy addiction to Instagram.

7. A “lover” who feels uncomfortable being posted on your Instagram, for the reason mentioned in #6.

8. A nice long paragraph on the break up with aforementioned “lover,” the reasoning described in #7.