Embarrassing Stories: Vol. 2

I am very much a city person. When I get hungry late at night, my first instinct is to go outside and see which fast food restaurants are open. I prefer public transportation over driving in a car. But, every winter break, my family goes to Arizona to be ~outdoorsy~. 

I really do try my best; I swear. I hike and climb all the time, but there are always some things about the city life that stick with me. You see, normally, I don’t have to wear foot protection to go check my mail because it comes into my house. I guess it doesn’t work that way when you’re not in the city. You have to actually walk outside to the mailbox. It’s weird stuff, guys. 

Anyway, my grandma asked me to get the mail, and I went outside without shoes, and I was listening to Dog Days are Over, so I was obviously jumping around spastically. In the dessert. Where the plant life is particularly rude. And that is when I stepped directly on a baby saguaro cactus hiding just beneath the dry sand. And that is when I fell forward into a prickly pear cactus. 

I could tell you that that was the worst part of that story. I could tell you that I got up, got the mail, went inside and picked the needles from my skin, but that would be a lie. I got up, got the mail, walked back to the house and stepped on the same baby saguaro again. So yeah, I think my place is in the city. Or maybe just a place without cacti.