People You Probably Shouldn't Trust

The person who puts ketchup on top of their fries—that’s just not okay

The person who puts ketchup on potato chips—why would you do that????

Teenagers—obviously

People who say they didn’t look at your Instagram when you accepted their follow request —they’re probably lying

Cat people—dogs actually evolved to act like children so that human would love them. Don’t disregard their hard work

Those who leave out ‘the’ when talking about The Grill—they are spies from Andover trying to confuse you

People in Dem Club, Pub Club, and Communist Club simultaneously—you’ll never know the truth about them

People who write on the nicer harkness tables

Fetal pigs

Non-humor page writers