Adventurous Ways to Distract Yourself from the Pain of Upper Winter

1. Foment insurrection against the E-Book, following in the footsteps of John Brown, who you learned about in U.S. History. (Who says history class is useless?) For example, burn incense in your room, walk out of D-Hall with the entire spinach bucket from the salad bar, etc. Don’t be afraid to really push some boundaries.
2. Walk past a herd—I mean, group of preps while pretending to be on the phone. Declare as loudly as possible, “Yes, but it’s not hazing unless you think about it.” Complain to your senior friends about how stressed you are about the college process and sprint away before they can smack you.
3. The next time your math teacher calls your method of solving a problem, “Very dangerous,” respond, “Good. I try to live on the edge.”
4. Submit to the Humor Page.
5. Sleep.
6. ^A joke. Humor, if you will.