Exeter Mothers Give Life Advice

Dear Euwie and Sophia, how can I learn to love myself?

Be Better.

Dear Euwie and Sophia, how can I learn to lose weight?

Cut off your leg.

Dear Euwie and Sophia, how do I get an EP date?

Don’t Study.

Dear Euwie and Sophia, how do I get over my boyfriend asking someone else to write his history paper instead of me?

Take his SAT for him and win him back.

Dear Euwie and Sophia, where is a good place to take your date out in town?

The Exeter River has great fish these days.

Dear Euwie and Sophia, How do I get people to sign up to write  Exonian articles?

Show them their future Harvard acceptance letter.

Dear Euwie and Sophia, what do I do when my dorm fac wants to give me sevens for my messy room?

You can’t get rid of the mess if you are the mess.

Dear Euwie and Sophia, what do you do if your friend dislocates their hip twerking?

ASAP them.