Top Eight Most Important Reasons for Exonians to Dick Assembly

Assembly. The “mandatory” appointment that all Exonians are required to attend. However, there are many reasons you should dick it.

1. If too many people show up, you could be forced to sit on the floor

2. You shouldn’t get caught dicking because the teachers should also be in assembly, right?

3. They don’t do assembly checks often, anyway

4. You’ll get a rush of adrenaline from living life on the edge

5. A nap is more important

6. You forgot to do homework for your next period

7.  Where will you sit if you can’t find your friends?

8. It’s not like you could miss the opportunity to hear from interesting guests like Dan Brown