The 6 Types of Exeter Athletes

1. The Fitness Misser— Whenever it’s a fitness day, The Fitness Misser can’t be found at practice. Somehow, this kid never gets a dickey and still manages be faster and better than almost everyone else on the team. The season’s over before coach realizes.

2. The Always Late— This kid never comes to practice on time. Always has an excuse: the teacher kept the kid 2 minutes past fat block, couldn’t find matching socks, you name it. This kid always manages to sneak in with the rest of the group without being caught by coach. Someone else on the team always has to get this person before the bus leaves for every away game.

3. The Hardcore Athlete— This kid has all of the gear. Headbands, wristbands, the latest shoes, latest gear — all of it. His/her equipment could fill an entire locker. The Hardcore Athlete gets to practice 15 minutes early to “suit up” and warm up for practice. You can see him/her talking to coach about “what to improve on” and how to “step up their game.”

4. The Tries To Be a Captain— This athlete tries waaayyyyy too hard to cheer everyone up. This kid’s always encouraging everyone during practice and in games and is always saying “Let’s Go!” while clapping their hands. Spot him/her trying to hype up the team before practices and games, and leading the group huddle before and after practice. … one two three RED!

5. The One Who’s “On Varsity”— He/she was allowed to play one varsity game, and is somehow has now been varsity “for the entire season.” This kid gets all the boathouse gear for all their sports, no matter how good/bad this kid is. Spot this kid on the JV bench.

6. The Always Injured — You can always see this person walking around with crutches, a white elastic band around their knee, or a gray boot. The Always Injured “can’t play” whenever an away game rolls around due to a “hurt ankle” or “stomach cramps” or “feeling a little under the weather.” Find this kid in the library on Wednesdays and Saturdays on the homework grind.