First Draft of My College Essay

As I walked up to the stage to accept my award for most impoverished orphans saved, I paused to reflect on all the good I had done in my summer internship at the United Nations after I had battled through the loss of my pet hamster to the cold fist of time. I recalled how I juggled my academics and my extracurriculars, which include being United States Secretary of the Agriculture and a position on the ESSO board. I remembered I performed resuscitative CPR on the Harvard Admissions officer, even though he didn’t really need it. I pondered how I had gotten a 2400 on the new SAT. I ruminated on the research I had done in my spare time with the help of my good friend Elon Musk. And as I put out my hand to take the orphan trophy, I came to a personal realization. It was now clear that, in my moment of greatest triumph, all I could think about was how much the Physics department at Harvard had to offer me. I took the microphone, and spoke.“Yale sucks!” I shouted, and pulled up my shirt to reveal a tattoo of the Harvard Crimson’s logo. The orphans’ cheers were loud that day, as they lifted me onto their shoulders and chanted “Billy Billy Billy! Harvard Harvard Harvard!” As I was carried off of the UN General Assembly floor, I smiled, thinking about my life at Harvard to come. Harvard Harvard Harvard H arvard.