April Fools’ Issue More Popular than Every Other Issue Ever Written Combined According to an Independent Study Conducted by the Humor Editors

This past Saturday, the famed “April Fools’” edition was given out to the students of Exeter through their P.O. Boxes. The paper was met with an overly favorable response from everyone except for the football team, who really shouldn’t have gone 0-8 if they didn’t want to be made fun of. More importantly, the articles in the April Fools’ issue were actually read by people, a stark contrast to every other issue ever. “Literally no one reads The Exonian,” said Ian Johnson, who didn’t actually say this but I needed a quote. “Normally it just ends up as cat litter or confetti after people flip to the humor section. You can’t walk through Agora without stepping on one or two copies. But this time, people actually read it!”

The people of the Town of Exeter, who usually burn the unwanted copies to power their homes, said that the April Fools’ issue was a hardship that they would have fight through. “I couldn’t heat my house this weekend,” said one despondent resident. “So I just told The Exonian that I was interested in seeing a couple of back issues, and they bought it. I was able to get my house back to a toasty 40 degrees come Monday.”

The April Fools’ issue was fantastic, from an entirely objective point of view. But will the Humor Editors ever be able to top their crowning achievement? Find out next week, when I write an actual article instead of a hastily written ego boost.