First Draft of My 332
Since the dawn of time, we as a species have used many characteristics to judge one another and to separate the merely good from the great. First, those with high intelligence were revered for their wisdom and were treated as kings. They were the ones whom the public would go to for help in any situation and the arbiters of any dispute. Next, those with great strength were the gods among men. They were the warriors who fought for their people and the epitome of power. Today, the world has switched to a new metric to measure greatness. This trait has opened the whole world to those with it, and has consumed every waking thought of those without. The attribute I am talking about is, of course, hand size.
In today’s culture, hand size is a measure for success, likeability and everything in between. The current president of the United States talked about his size in a speech, attempting to win the people’s favor by telling them that he “has no problem in that area,” (Book of Donald, p. 35). This was in response to his opponent Mr. Rubio’s cunning strategy of pointing out the small size of Mr. Trump’s hands then saying, “If his hands are small, there may be other things that are small too,” (The Election of 2016, p. 68). The other small things he was talking about were, obviously, Mr. Trump’s strength and ability to govern. These comments show the importance of size in the electoral process, and, by extension, in modern times.
Hand size isn’t just part of the election though. It is used as a way to judge others in all facets of society. Those with particularly expensive cars are thought of as “having small hands” and if someone does something that is particularly brave or bold, it is thought of as a “big hand move.” The prevailing wisdom is that people with small hands cannot stop thinking about their hands, and as such, spend their entire life trying to make up for their small hands. This causes them to do things like running for president.
In conclusion, today’s version of strength and intelligence is hand size. But the truth is, it’s not really how big your hands are. It’s how you use them that matters.