Dorm vs. Dorm Winner: Five Reasons You Have Friends

1. They buy me food in grill when I “forget my Lioncard”

2. Great conspirators during games of Survivor

3. Adopting day student parents as your own=free transportation and home-cooked meals

4. Henchmen to grab me dessert because I’m too lazy to walk 20 feet

5. Gives my parents the illusion that my life is somewhat together

Runner-Up

1. I got a hot bod.

2. I make good memes.

3. I’m good at games.

4. My room smells good.

5. I spot my homies at Szechuan.