An Unbelievable Conspiracy Theory

Bill Belichick, Andover class of 1971, has won three super bowl rings as a head coach, an interesting number. George W. Bush, George W. H. Bush, Jeb Bush, were all once Smurfs; three Bushes-a pattern is beginning to emerge. JFK Jr. was an Andover alum, and he was one of three children born to the president John F. Kennedy. He was also known by three names. John Barres was a graduate of Andover who went onto divinity and eventually became the Bishop of Allentown. Everyday, this man prays to the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost, three consubstantial persons who can be expressed in the form of a triangle. Most obviously, the Ain Andover clearly forms a triangle. What can we take away from all of this? The consistency of threes and triangle points to one obvious commonality among Andover alums, they’re all members of the Illuminati!

So what, right?.... Wrong! While one might observe that the average Smurf is weak and feeble, there are some intelligent ones who slipped through the cracks at that school, and who pose a major threat to the school. Behind closed doors in their ivory tower, the twenty-two Andover trustees don’t concern themselves with school governance or fiduciary responsibility, but rather are scheming their plot to take over PEA. They obviously chose a head of school who graduated from Exeter, because he already knew the inside and any weak points the school might have.

So be weary, Academy, and just remember that when the Andover uprising start,s I told you so.

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Senior of the Year: Alice Ju in Exeter-land

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Goodbye, Class of 2014