Klatsch of the Titans
Prompt: What does diesel mean to you?
APPLICATION #1: WHAT IS DIESEL?
Diesel: it’s not just a lifestyle, it’s a mindset. It is what occupies my thoughts while I sit in class, while I’m at sports, and throughout my entire day. Diesel is the embodiment of all the ideals I strive for in my life. It is the first thing I think about when I wake up every morning, and the last thing I think about before I go to bed. To show you the importance of diesel in my life, allow me to walk you through a typical day:
8:00 am: Wake up to the sound of my Versace alarm clock. If I don’t get up at first, my servant comes to wake me. Even if I have 8 o'clock class, I don’t go, because that really just kills my vibe.
8:30 am: Attend breakfast, but not at D-hall, because that’s gross. I’m so not about soggy eggs and eating off dirty plates. Instead, my personal chef brings me a breakfast of freshly made toast, juicy fruit flown in from Chile, and the finest skim milk money can buy.
8:55 am: Whenever classes end: Class, whatever. My participation grade in French is determined by how much brie and croissants I can feed my classmates and teacher. I dropped math after 230 because I can’t stand anything that has to do with circles; they’re so not diesel. History is irrelevant, unless we’re talking about my childhood or about the origins of diesel. English is generally stupid. My life is so much more interesting and more diesel than all of the angsty problems of these messed up teenagers we read about. I generally sleep in this class, and everyone knows better than to wake me up. In physics, I spend my time doodling the word “diesel” all over my notebook; as I said, it’s all that matters to me. The only thing that gets me through the day is the fact that my servants carry me on a cushioned chair from class to class.
Whenever sports start-whenever sports end: Two hours of struggling through physical activity, and I only keep going because, well, diesel.
6:00 pm: Dinner is, again, catered by my personal chef, and I eat in my own chandelier lit private dining room in McConnell Hall. I typically enjoy a meal of caviar, along with fresh vegetables and a glass of sparkling grape juice (it’s allowed because I’m part French, right?).
8:00 pm: Study hours technically begin, but not for me. I don’t have to worry about check-in, because I have an alter ego who covers for me when I have better things to do than sit in my room (which is always).
10:30 pm or whenever I want: Bedtime. I lay in bed surrounded by my 1000 thread count Egyptian cotton sheets, and think about diesel.
As you can see, diesel is an integral part of my life. I don’t know what I would do if I hadn’t made diesel my mantra. I can only imagine how terrible life would be in a diesel-less place.
APPLICATION #2: DEEZIN
“God didn't give me these talents and what I look like to be sitting around and just being a model or be famous or whatever path I want. I want to lead a huge charity organization. I want to lead a country, for all I know. I don't know where I'm going just yet, but eventually I can see myself taking a stand for people and for the children.”- The Bling Ring
The always reliable source, urbandictionary.com, defines “diesel” as “Awesome or strong, as in physical power. Also -- great, cool, or sexy,” but to me diesel means so much more. Diesel is not an adjective, but a lifestyle. It’s the first thing I think about when I wake up, and the last thing I think about before going to bed. I usually begin my day around 1:00 pm, because I take my time to get ready for the day. Diesel has taught me that beauty requires patience. Sometimes I really don’t feel like going to class, but dickeys exist for a reason, right? To start my day right, I make sure to fill myself with a quality breakfast. Quality isn’t D-hall’s main priority; half burnt bagels and dirty forks don’t really embody the ideals of diesel. Instead, I go for the true breakfast of champions: a Supreme’s large chicken parm calzone order straight to class. Math is usually one of my first subjects of the day (read: afternoon). I’m not much into numbers, so I decided to switch into the 110 math course. The benefit of taking this class is twofold: not only do I prevent from submitting myself to Exeter’s stereotype, of “engaging in challenging and rigorous academia,” but it also allows me to simply pay off one of the many over eager preps to put up problems up on the board for me. I would have never been able to do this, if I hadn’t been exposed to diesel and its alternative ways. English is my next class. I can’t really say that I care too much about struggling writers and their tortured souls, so unless we’re discussing the philosophical significance of diesel, it’s not worth my time to participate. A person can only take so much of Edgar Allan Poe's lifestyle and his “internal conflicts.” Spanish is an easy A for me. I party in Cancun over the weekends and half the guys I’ve dated are Spanish, so I don’t really bother with conjugating verbs. In art class, a couple drops of paint with my name scribbled in the corner are basically equivalent to a Picasso or Banksy masterpiece. This year I’m taking biology, which is supposed to be the study of life. But since I’m acing life in general (because, diesel), that class is basically child’s play. Now check-in is at 8:00, but since diesel now plays a large part in my life, I allow myself to transcend beyond the confinement of my 10x11 room. I usually opt for some time experiencing Exeter’s nightlife, or throw a lobster dinner party where my friends and I discuss the depths of diesel. The idea of diesel has allowed me to grow and expand as a spiritual human being, while completely changing my outlook on life. Diesel is my mantra.