"Ads" We Must Print Since People Paid For Them

If you didn’t know, this past Saturday was Relay for Life, and if you didn’t know that, you are probably a bad person. Many were generous with both their love and their tickets and purchased messages to be printed in The Exonian. As Humor Page editors, we honestly have no idea why we are now responsible for printing these. Perhaps the Executive Board is acknowledging that we are the most legitimate page, or perhaps one editor accidentally grabbed all the sign-up sheets on her way from the gym. No matter. As you read the following compilation of heartfelt and ridiculous messages, just remember: it’s all to cure cancer.

Emily Wiklund: I do not stuff.

Claire Keating: Yes she does.

Julia Kim: Julia Kim.

Jackson Smith: And I said what about Breakfast at Tiffany’s? She said, "I think I remember the film, and as I recall, I think, we both kinda liked it." And I said, "Well, that’s the one thing we’ve got."

Frank Dwyer: Live your life by YOLO? Go to Ewald Klatsch with me!

Ashley Baxter: I [heart] SexBax.

Anonymous: Brian "Jun Cheol" Kim is the sexiest man alive... and Hojung [heart].

VW: TD [heart] [heart] [heart] [smiley face] XOXO.

Rae Lee: PEAN IS BETTER.

Anonymous: JB, will you go to prom with me?

Carolina Martinez: Molly Bolan is Beautiful!

Rajan Varma: Today I found out that I'm a baby daddy.

Rex Tercek: Jesus wants me.

Oliver Everhard: Victor + Trang!1!

Anonymous: Date me, Cody Rorick.

Anonymous: Maggie Boudreau, prom?

Ida Pyale: Amanda Li, you're still the light of my life, fire of my loins.

Ben Hogoboom: PWDP unite!

Catherine Moore: I love you Matthew Kim. Coach Bailey are you jealous?

Emily Palmer: Shout out to Melissa for leaving her tickets behind.

Anonymous: Out of steam / Because of glass / Please refill (loosely translated from a three-line Korean poem).