Take Me To Prom: A Desperate Plea

Are you looking for a prom date? Has nobody asked you? Are you getting into that awkward time when you might have to ask your best friend for fear of ending up with somebody from Peabody? Don't worry, there is still one, fantastic date left: me.I am 6' 4" tall, but don't worry about me dancing, because I move with the nimbleness of an elf (I read a lot of fantsay). I have been compared to a young Farah Fawcett because my hair is lusciously blonde and soft. I look great in prom photos, and I guarantee your mother will love me almost as much as I will love her. I don't really have friends, so we can sit with your friend group at prom. I will likely eat more food than you, so you won't look bad.But don't worry, I'm not socially awkward at all, and I have been to prom before, and the girl who took me in no way regretted it.So if you are looking for a date to prom please ask me. Please. I just really want to go... Email ndupont@exeter.edu.